7 Things Your Lifeguard Wants You to Know

With summer in full-swing now, most of you have probably been swimming at your local pool to cool off! After lifeguarding at a large water park for two years and working as a lead staff member this third season, I've learned a few things along the way that I think every responsible (and especially irresponsible) swimmer should know this summer.


1.) Not all lifeguards just sit around all day doing nothing. The water park I work at keeps us on our feet all day. We're required to walk back and forth at most of the lifeguard stands rather than sitting so we can properly see the water. This meant I sometimes walked over 13 miles in one day during a twelve or thirteen hour shift!

2.) Don't run on the pool deck. The reason that our favorite thing to say seems to be "Walk please!" is because there's a slight possibility that you'll slip and fall and crack your head open and spend the last few weeks of your life in a body cast after getting about 50,345,437 stitches in that head. Or some lovely thing such as that.

3.) "Safety breaks" really are safety breaks. It's not a break for the lifeguards. We still have to keep scanning the water just as if there were people in it. There are many reasons for our hourly safety breaks at my water park, including giving guests an opportunity to have food and water, but we also have another reason we don't tell our guests. Clearing the pool every hour helps us see the bottom and confirm there are no unconscious guests at the bottom. Sounds a little creepy, I know. But two years ago, a young child drowned at a Fairfax County water park, and the lifeguards only saw him when they were clearing the pool for lightening. Sadly, by the time he was found, it was too late.


4.) Lifeguards are experts at thinking many profound thoughts while still paying perfect attention to the water. We have to find some way to pass the time on the stand, and there's no better way than by pondering the deepest questions of life. For example, if a child doesn't want to take a nap, is he resisting a rest? And if vampires can't see themselves in mirrors, why is their hair always so neat?

5.) We have eyes in the backs of our heads. Yes, I see you running, even though my head was turned the other way. This is the reason lifeguards wear sunglasses, so you can't tell which way our eyes are really looking!

6.) Please don't float face first in the water. Do you know why they call it the dead man's float? Because it makes you look like you're dead! And even after countless hours of training and several seasons of experience, we lifeguards still have a heart attack every time we see someone who looks like they might actually be in trouble.

7.) We see some bizarre things sometimes. The water park I work at has a capacity of 1,500 people, and we're at capacity more often than not, so I see a lot of people over the course of a day. With all those people, one has the opportunity to see some truly peculiar things. One time, I saw an inflatable turkey going down the slide. Another time, someone lost a pair of $13,000 fangs in the lazy river. And just the other day, I had someone ask me whether the pizza truck sold boneless pizzas. (I can't say I've ever had the pleasure of coming across a pizza with bones, so I was quite certain the pizzas were boneless.)


Sometimes, lifeguards get asked some stupid questions, which sometimes provide us with some much-needed entertainment. For example...

"So, do you do anything else besides sit in the sun all day?"
Oh yes, sometimes... (See #1, above.)

"Have you saved anyone?"
Why no, I thought I'd just let them drift on down to the next lifeguard and let him rescue them...

(On our big waterslides in the park): "Has anyone ever flipped out of the slides?"
Yes, we have at least 70 million people fall to their deaths from these slides each season, which is why we continue to leave them open to the public.

Um, no.

"What do you do if you see someone who's already drowned?"
This question is one of my pet peeves...because it's not up to us to decide whether or not someone is "drowned"!  If we see an unconscious guest in the water, we fish them out! If necessary, we perform rescue breathing or CPR until EMS arrives and transports the guest to the hospital. But we will never leave someone at the bottom of the pool "because they already look drowned anyway".


Hopefully you've enjoyed learning a few of the things your local lifeguard wants you to know, and a few of our experiences dealing with guests. And remember...walk, please!

Photo credits: Esther Van Tuyl